Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Meryl" wrote So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? Yes, recently. I decided I did not need that person as a friend and have now cut ties. This was after attempts to redress problems. I am wondering if your former friend may have mental health problems herself and possibly may be in denial. It hurts for a while but such relationships are unhealthy. Take care, Meryl Thanks, Meryl. The more responses I read, the more I’m convinced I’ve done the right thing. Deirdre
If it is right for you, then I believe it is the way to go. Take care, Meryl — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations?
In my case, it wasn’t sudden. I hadn’t been diagnosed at that time, so I didn’t really have a label to put on my disorder, I just knew that I wasn’t normal. So eventually, I told a couple of people in a group I was in what I was feeling, and why I was having trouble with some of the things that were happening in the group. They went around telling others. Pretty soon, it felt like no one was talking to me any more, instead they were talking to my mental illness. If I disagreed with someone, it wasn’t because I thought differently, it was because I needed help. If I told them I’d seen something unusual, it wasn’t because I’d seen it, it was because it was a delusion. They thought of me as mentally ill, and they thought of mental illness as all those psychotics and delusional people they’d seen in movies and in the news. And I couldn’t even correct them, because anything I said was just me refusing to face the truth. Finally, one guy turned on me and abused me for refusing to agree with him on something he was wrong about, and insisted he was never going to speak to me again until I went into hospital and got treated for my psychotic delusions. He was very blatently wrong, but no one else would stand up for me. So I walked away, and have never spoken to any of them ever again. The emails I got for several years afterwards have been deleted unread. I had to learn the hard way that you can’t open other people’s minds. How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it?
Now, I think that cutting off the relationship quickly is best. I wish I hadn’t spent so much time trying to convince others that I wasn’t that different to normal. It just hurt me and convinced them that they were right all along. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing?
Some of the problems I’ve got, I think I *have* done to myself. Because I didn’t know any better, and didn’t have access to anyone who could have warned me otherwise. I have spent far too long trying to be nice to people who don’t deserve it, at considerable mental cost to myself. But I could never have gotten there without a real, underlying problem. And anything I do without considering that real problem is going to just be like piling bandaids onto an infected cut. If I can deal with the anxiety and the depression that it seems to trigger, then I can move on to sort out the problems that have come about because of it. REALESTATE: biggest buy/rent/share listings http://ninemsn.realestate.com.au — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Elliott" wrote <snip I’ve lost many friends because I wasn’t able to reciprocate in ‘going and doing’, which is paramount in ‘one on one’ relationships – but I consider that the cost of the disorder and leave it at that. I’ve got enough friends and have enough of a life that when I look back, I’m not missing much. Maybe they are?
Man, you’ve got a healthy attitude. "The cost of the disorder". I’m going to work on incorporating that one into my thinking. I have wasted way too much time and energy beating myself up for losing friends because I just couldn’t make myself go to the party. <snip That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’ I’m not crazy in any sense of the word. Do you feel YOU are?
Not at this moment, I’m happy to say. But sometimes, yes I do. I can remember doubting myself, my sanity, my genuineness, other things, as early as age 10. The nagging feeling that I am somehow not being my real self, that my real self is ‘bad’ so I have to work hard at the facade. This feeling still comes and goes at times. I’m still not sure what I do to make it go away. Maybe I get distracted from it. I have a feeling this is something with deep roots that I haven’t dug up yet. Thanks for the good brain food, Elliott. Blog on!
Cogito, ergo bloggo. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"weeks" wrote Hi, Deirdre, I’m sorry about your friendship with Mary. Reading the other posts you have been given good advice and some I would have said myself. Time is too valuable too allow people to judge you based on having a mental health issue… smiles, Elise
Thank you, Elise. I appreciate your support! Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Gigglz" wrote Yah, baaaabeeeeee….lost many friends this way! Fuck ‘em, I say! It’s THEIR loss! Just because a person becomes ill or terminally ill, doesn’t mean they all of a sudden sprout wings and become angelic. She is a judgmental bigot, and if that’s how she feels about your anxiety disorder, let her go suck an egg! Unless you can carry on a friendship with her, all the while knowing how she REALLY feels about you (and you can accept it)…I would say good-bye to her now. This is a choice that SHE made. I’m so sorry. You are a lovely person and you don’t deserve this. SHE is the one with the real problem, Deirdre! Love, Gigglz ((((((((((((((((GIGGLZ))))))))))))))))))) I love what you wrote here! It made me sit up straight and say out loud, "Damn right!" Thank you, my friend! Deirdre
Until I adopted this same attitude, rejection was very difficult to deal with. — Ron P Just remember….if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"james" wrote – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – many of the people in my family initial reaction to my anxiety disorder hurt me a lot, especially my mothers, and like you I found it hard to deal with, but because I loved them to much I had to deal with their reactions and it help me alot as it forced me to come to realize many things about myself that I might not otherwised have tried to understand, at first it hurt me a lot because of the stress they caused in me and I shut them out of that part of my life, so when I needed them the most, I felt they where not there for me, I do believe they wanted to help, but if any time I tried to discuss anything about my disorder they, their reaction seem to be automatically abusive as if they didn’t want to hear I had such problems As time past, and I became more accepting of my condition I came to realize that what anyone thought about mt condition didn’t really matter most people are scared of thier own anxieties, they find ways not to deal with them, anger disorder, drinking disorder, drug addition and many different form of mental poblems, and my moms reaction, and your friends reaction, denial of anxieties existance is one way some people do it, they usually are the ones who shut you out at any mention of anxieties , not so much because they hate you all of a sudden but more because their false denial of anxiety would crumble if they where allowed to think otherwise, this in itself is much the same problem we have, just a different automatic reacting to the anxiety and as much as we would like to change our response in order to help us deal with life ( we know how difficult that is), but people who deny anxiety don’t really have a noticable reason to change so it infinately harder for them to break through their small veil of false reasoning, and if and when it does (and I believe it does happen even if with thier dying thoughts) it is harder on them to deal with anxieties I do understand you and it is easy for me to give you my love and compassion, and for your own sake , (when your stress allows) find a way to understand her and forgive her, offer her your love and compassion, I believe this will help you heal, don’t try to change her thoughts only she well be able to do this in her own time, and don’t be surprised if she still reacts negatively to any mention of anxiety, but in your courage, in some small way you might be of help her and other you are bound to meet with this form of dealing with their anxieties, and that well be true love and compassion love Jim
Thanks for your thoughtful response, James. You’ve given me a lot to think about. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Dear Deidre. No, I haven’t had this response from any friends, fortunately. But last week I did actually start to wonder whether my condition was self-inflicted. The reason for this is that I’m coping pretty well with my anxiety at present and I think it’s easy to forget the bad times (in fact, I think it’s one of many coping strategies of mine……when a bad spell is over, forget it and move on). I soon convinced myself otherwise when I brought to mind the times when I was unable to leave my bedroom because of sheer terror whilst going through a severe panic attack. Because those times are now years in the past, it’s easy to forget how it was. It took almost a full second to realise that in no way did I bring this on myself, and that my present relatively anxiety-free (I stress RELATIVELY) state is down mainly to Citalopram and CBT. So it’s not something that I’ve suddenly stopped inflicting on myself. Actually I’ve just remembered one friend who does have a similar attitude towards mental illness that your friend does. Fortunately, I’ve known him for many years and I can understand where he’s coming from as he had a terrible life dealing with a wife with severe mental illness for years. He virtually had to bring up his 2 children on his own whilst going out to work full time because his wife was unable to look after them due to her illness. I see his attitude as a defence mechanism. He has had to be tough for his family, has had to deal with many dreadful situations, and cannot allow himself the admission that maybe he is also vulnerable to mental problems. Again fortunately, he is one of those people who can have a different point of view and still remain a friend. I’m sorry that your friend isn’t the same. I guess they are few and far between, which is why, although I don’t agree with his point of view, I still have great respect for him. I also find it funny that whenever I’ve gone out with him in his car, he always takes great pains to drive very carefully as he knows I’ve had problems travelling anywhere in the past. So I know that he also respects my point of view. Maybe it would help to wonder whether your friend denies the existence of mental illness as a "proper" illness because she is so afraid of it? Take care. Steve.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi gang, I’m wondering if any of you have ever experienced anything like this, and how you handled it. Not long ago, before Mom got sick, I wrote here about my friend in Texas who was very ill. Mary is my age (53), lives alone, and has severe complications from diabetes, including congestive heart failure and kidney failure. We had been very good friends for a couple of years in high school in Iowa; then her family moved to Texas. We lost touch for a long while, but we found each other several years ago. Over the past 6 months we’ve been in close contact via email and messenger. Before Mom got sick I was trying to figure out a way to go spend a week with her, help her out, have some nostalgic laughs, and have a chance to say goodbye — her doctors give her about a year at most. We have always had a lot in common, and I’ve always admired her enthusiasm for life, high intelligence, creativity, and generosity of spirit. But she really shocked me, hurt me deeply, about 8 or 9 days ago. I’m only just now able to write about it. She suddenly realized that I really do have mental disorders — it was as if she hadn’t noticed before– and she said some terribly hurtful things. She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve. She basically told me she’ll never feel the same way about me again, that she had lost respect for me. I was stunned. I never thought anything so hateful could come out of her. I thought a long time about trying to change her mind, but I simply didn’t have the energy — I was deeply involved in Mom’s situation, and in my anxiety over so many things. I finally saw that I didn’t need anyone in my life who thinks of me that way, so I cut her out of my life. This is how I’ve always ended bad relationships — a clean quick cut is best, IMO. I took her email address out of my addressbooks. I set a rule that will highlight any email from her with yellow so I can decide whether or not I want to read it (I couldn’t quite make myself block her email entirely yet, but I may do that in the future, depending on what does or does not happen with her). I removed her from my friends list in messenger, and from my friends list in the blog community she writes in. I wrote a little bit about it in my blog so if she continues to read it as she has done in the recent past, she’ll see what I did. So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? I am having a lot of very confused self-talk going on. Sometimes I just hate her, not something I do easily. I try to understand her point of view, but that invariably ends up in wondering, painfully, if maybe she’s right? Maybe I’m just a lazy whiner, maybe I have no ‘backbone’, maybe I’m worthless, maybe I’ve been wasting my time all these years with therapy and meds… so I go through the whole process of challenging the thoughts so I’ll feel better. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing? It’s about a quarter to 4 in the morning here right now. I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s too late to take a pill — I need to be up by 9. I’ve been worried about Mary because she lives in a town that is going to get hit hard by Hurricane Rita’s rain and wind, tornado watches, flooding. But I’m too stubborn to try to find out if she’s okay. I do still care about her, but how could I talk to her after what she said? Thanks for reading, my friends. All input will be appreciated as always. Love Deirdre Every once in a while, I update my blog. Check it out, and if it’s been more than 2 weeks since I’ve written, please scold me. Thank you. http://home.earthlink.net/~deirdre1952/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Meryl" wrote – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? Yes, recently. I decided I did not need that person as a friend and have now cut ties. This was after attempts to redress problems. I am wondering if your former friend may have mental health problems herself and possibly may be in denial. It hurts for a while but such relationships are unhealthy. Take care, Meryl
Thanks, Meryl. The more responses I read, the more I’m convinced I’ve done the right thing. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Gary" wrote <snip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My wife experienced somehting like this several years ago when here mother was terribly ill with a heart condition eventually caused her death. Her mother made a variety of scathing remarks to her and others in her family during this time. The doctor that was treating her, and a priest associated with the hospital both told my wife that situations like this are surprisingly frequent and to try and think past it, handle it with as much grace and deference as she could manage, and not take it personally. It was good advice even though hard to follow. It sounds like your friend with her ilnessses may be in such a situation. It’s not your fault. I think you should handle it in a way that makes you comfortable and lets you move forward with your own life. This may not go for others, but I think I have learned enough about myself and my anxiety/panic syndrome that I view it as a condition that beleageurs me day to day and to a varying degree, and not a condition that defines me, which I "deserve," or which I caused. Having come to see it this way helps me feel stronger. I wish you calmness and peace, Gary
Thank you so much, Gary, for your response. I sometimes have trouble remembering that anxiety and depression are conditions I have, rather than definitions of who I am. Thank you for reminding me of that. I hope you also have calmness and peace. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi gang, I’m wondering if any of you have ever experienced anything like this, and how you handled it. Not long ago, before Mom got sick, I wrote here about my friend in Texas who was very ill. Mary is my age (53), lives alone, and has severe complications from diabetes, including congestive heart failure and kidney failure. We had been very good friends for a couple of years in high school in Iowa; then her family moved to Texas. We lost touch for a long while, but we found each other several years ago. Over the past 6 months we’ve been in close contact via email and messenger. Before Mom got sick I was trying to figure out a way to go spend a week with her, help her out, have some nostalgic laughs, and have a chance to say goodbye — her doctors give her about a year at most. We have always had a lot in common, and I’ve always admired her enthusiasm for life, high intelligence, creativity, and generosity of spirit. But she really shocked me, hurt me deeply, about 8 or 9 days ago. I’m only just now able to write about it. She suddenly realized that I really do have mental disorders — it was as if she hadn’t noticed before– and she said some terribly hurtful things. She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve. She basically told me she’ll never feel the same way about me again, that she had lost respect for me. I was stunned. I never thought anything so hateful could come out of her. I thought a long time about trying to change her mind, but I simply didn’t have the energy — I was deeply involved in Mom’s situation, and in my anxiety over so many things. I finally saw that I didn’t need anyone in my life who thinks of me that way, so I cut her out of my life. This is how I’ve always ended bad relationships — a clean quick cut is best, IMO. I took her email address out of my addressbooks. I set a rule that will highlight any email from her with yellow so I can decide whether or not I want to read it (I couldn’t quite make myself block her email entirely yet, but I may do that in the future, depending on what does or does not happen with her). I removed her from my friends list in messenger, and from my friends list in the blog community she writes in. I wrote a little bit about it in my blog so if she continues to read it as she has done in the recent past, she’ll see what I did. So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? I am having a lot of very confused self-talk going on. Sometimes I just hate her, not something I do easily. I try to understand her point of view, but that invariably ends up in wondering, painfully, if maybe she’s right? Maybe I’m just a lazy whiner, maybe I have no ‘backbone’, maybe I’m worthless, maybe I’ve been wasting my time all these years with therapy and meds… so I go through the whole process of challenging the thoughts so I’ll feel better. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing? It’s about a quarter to 4 in the morning here right now. I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s too late to take a pill — I need to be up by 9. I’ve been worried about Mary because she lives in a town that is going to get hit hard by Hurricane Rita’s rain and wind, tornado watches, flooding. But I’m too stubborn to try to find out if she’s okay. I do still care about her, but how could I talk to her after what she said? Thanks for reading, my friends. All input will be appreciated as always. Love Deirdre Every once in a while, I update my blog. Check it out, and if it’s been more than 2 weeks since I’ve written, please scold me. Thank you. http://home.earthlink.net/~deirdre1952/
My wife experienced somehting like this several years ago when here mother was terribly ill with a heart condition eventually caused her death. Her mother made a variety of scathing remarks to her and others in her family during this time. The doctor that was treating her, and a priest associated with the hospital both told my wife that situations like this are surprisingly frequent and to try and think past it, handle it with as much grace and deference as she could manage, and not take it personally. It was good advice even though hard to follow. It sounds like your friend with her ilnessses may be in such a situation. It’s not your fault. I think you should handle it in a way that makes you comfortable and lets you move forward with your own life. This may not go for others, but I think I have learned enough about myself and my anxiety/panic syndrome that I view it as a condition that beleageurs me day to day and to a varying degree, and not a condition that defines me, which I "deserve," or which I caused. Having come to see it this way helps me feel stronger. I wish you calmness and peace, Gary — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it?
Yes, recently. I decided I did not need that person as a friend and have now cut ties. This was after attempts to redress problems. I am wondering if your former friend may have mental health problems herself and possibly may be in denial. It hurts for a while but such relationships are unhealthy. Take care, Meryl — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi gang, I’m wondering if any of you have ever experienced anything like this, and how you handled it. Not long ago, before Mom got sick, I wrote here about my friend in Texas who was very ill. Mary is my age (53), lives alone, and has severe complications from diabetes, including congestive heart failure and kidney failure. We had been very good friends for a couple of years in high school in Iowa; then her family moved to Texas. We lost touch for a long while, but we found each other several years ago. Over the past 6 months we’ve been in close contact via email and messenger. Before Mom got sick I was trying to figure out a way to go spend a week with her, help her out, have some nostalgic laughs, and have a chance to say goodbye — her doctors give her about a year at most. We have always had a lot in common, and I’ve always admired her enthusiasm for life, high intelligence, creativity, and generosity of spirit. But she really shocked me, hurt me deeply, about 8 or 9 days ago. I’m only just now able to write about it. She suddenly realized that I really do have mental disorders — it was as if she hadn’t noticed before– and she said some terribly hurtful things. She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve. She basically told me she’ll never feel the same way about me again, that she had lost respect for me. I was stunned. I never thought anything so hateful could come out of her. I thought a long time about trying to change her mind, but I simply didn’t have the energy — I was deeply involved in Mom’s situation, and in my anxiety over so many things. I finally saw that I didn’t need anyone in my life who thinks of me that way, so I cut her out of my life. This is how I’ve always ended bad relationships — a clean quick cut is best, IMO. I took her email address out of my addressbooks. I set a rule that will highlight any email from her with yellow so I can decide whether or not I want to read it (I couldn’t quite make myself block her email entirely yet, but I may do that in the future, depending on what does or does not happen with her). I removed her from my friends list in messenger, and from my friends list in the blog community she writes in. I wrote a little bit about it in my blog so if she continues to read it as she has done in the recent past, she’ll see what I did. So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? I am having a lot of very confused self-talk going on. Sometimes I just hate her, not something I do easily. I try to understand her point of view, but that invariably ends up in wondering, painfully, if maybe she’s right? Maybe I’m just a lazy whiner, maybe I have no ‘backbone’, maybe I’m worthless, maybe I’ve been wasting my time all these years with therapy and meds… so I go through the whole process of challenging the thoughts so I’ll feel better. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing? It’s about a quarter to 4 in the morning here right now. I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s too late to take a pill — I need to be up by 9. I’ve been worried about Mary because she lives in a town that is going to get hit hard by Hurricane Rita’s rain and wind, tornado watches, flooding. But I’m too stubborn to try to find out if she’s okay. I do still care about her, but how could I talk to her after what she said? Thanks for reading, my friends. All input will be appreciated as always. Love Deirdre Every once in a while, I update my blog. Check it out, and if it’s been more than 2 weeks since I’ve written, please scold me. Thank you. http://home.earthlink.net/~deirdre1952/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Dennis" wrote <snips along the way
shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? When I was about 9, I had a ‘friend’ turn on me badly. I didn’t see why at the time, but now I see that it was he thought he was second- choice after another friend. I didn’t end our relationship, which became very abusive. I had too little confidence to stand up to him. It took me two years to finally end my relationship with him. I simply refused to have anything to do with him. It was a very bad experience, which made it much more difficult for me to trust people.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Letting a bad relationship go on and on does damage. I did that too many times. Now I use the quick clean cut method which carries its own set of emotional bumps, but I still think it’s better. I hope you are happier about your ability to trust. I know it takes a lot of work. It helps me to think that I am not an evil, bad, lazy, etc. person, not ‘mentally ill’, whatever that means anyway, but just someone who has an overactive nervous system.
I like that "overactive nervous system". That’s going up on the wall, right next to Elliott’s "cost of the disorder". Thanks, Dennis — and I’m glad you’ve come through the Rita mess okay. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"MH" wrote Hi, Deirdre… I’m sorry, but I don’t see why you would want to keep such a caustic, judgemental person in your life. I mean… will you *ever* be able to forget the things she said to you? Won’t you always wonder *what* she is thinking of you? I know I would… and perhaps I’m projecting. As for your last question, I don’t think I had anything to do with *choosing* this disorder. I think it’s part of who I am… and the way I am wired. The only *choice* I have is how I deal with it. I’ve seen crazy, Deirdre…. and let me reassure you, you are not it!! 
Take care… MikeH
Hi Mike! I know I’ll never forget what she said. I hope I can forgive on some deeper level someday. You packed a lot of good practical wisdom in this post — thanks for reminding me that I have a choice in how I deal with my disorder. Also for telling me I don’t look crazy to you. Makes me smile. Take care back atcha, hugs if you want them, Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
many of the people in my family initial reaction to my anxiety disorder hurt me a lot, especially my mothers, and like you I found it hard to deal with, but because I loved them to much I had to deal with their reactions and it help me alot as it forced me to come to realize many things about myself that I might not otherwised have tried to understand, at first it hurt me a lot because of the stress they caused in me and I shut them out of that part of my life, so when I needed them the most, I felt they where not there for me, I do believe they wanted to help, but if any time I tried to discuss anything about my disorder they, their reaction seem to be automatically abusive as if they didn’t want to hear I had such problems As time past, and I became more accepting of my condition I came to realize that what anyone thought about mt condition didn’t really matter most people are scared of thier own anxieties, they find ways not to deal with them, anger disorder, drinking disorder, drug addition and many different form of mental poblems, and my moms reaction, and your friends reaction, denial of anxieties existance is one way some people do it, they usually are the ones who shut you out at any mention of anxieties , not so much because they hate you all of a sudden but more because their false denial of anxiety would crumble if they where allowed to think otherwise, this in itself is much the same problem we have, just a different automatic reacting to the anxiety and as much as we would like to change our response in order to help us deal with life ( we know how difficult that is), but people who deny anxiety don’t really have a noticable reason to change so it infinately harder for them to break through their small veil of false reasoning, and if and when it does (and I believe it does happen even if with thier dying thoughts) it is harder on them to deal with anxieties I do understand you and it is easy for me to give you my love and compassion, and for your own sake , (when your stress allows) find a way to understand her and forgive her, offer her your love and compassion, I believe this will help you heal, don’t try to change her thoughts only she well be able to do this in her own time, and don’t be surprised if she still reacts negatively to any mention of anxiety, but in your courage, in some small way you might be of help her and other you are bound to meet with this form of dealing with their anxieties, and that well be true love and compassion love Jim — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Jacqueline" wrote <snips along the way I`m so sorry that Mary was so cruel to you. It`s mind boggling that some people actually think mental illness is a choice. Your illness is no more a choice than Mary`s diabetes, CHF and kidney failure.
I have been patting myself on the back for refraining from pointing that out to her. It wouldn’t have changed her viewpoint and I would likely have felt uncomfortable with being smug. I think you handled this the only way you could and that was to end the relationship. Who can be friends with someone when there is no longer any respect. I would have done the same thing as you. Mary has lost something precious…. and that is you! I know you feel a sense of loss too 
I have always treasured my friends, so yes, I’m feeling a loss. However, in the act of reading all these responses and forming my replies, I feel like I have lost illusions rather than a true friend. There’s no point in kicking myself for ‘wasting time on her’, which is one of the thoughts that have drifted through my head about this. I didn’t waste any time. I had some fun when it was good, and I’ve learned something about a view of mental illness I didn’t know existed. Is there any chance being Mary is terminally ill, that she is pushing you away on purpose? Sometimes people do the oddest things when they are trying to come to terms with their impending death. It seems odd that all of a sudden, she gets it that you have some mental issues. Something to think about.
I have wondered about this possibility. I have expressed my desire to do things for her when she’s sick quite often, and every time she has pushed it away. I think it’s possible, but I’ll probably never know so I will benefit from letting go of my need to answer this question. What would you tell another poster here about their mental illness? Would you tell them they are worthless, a lazy whiner and brought their craziness upon themselves? I know you wouldn`t! Whatever you would tell another person here, you need to tell yourself.
I wonder where I put that cassette tape of self-esteem affirmations. Hmm. Maybe I’ll make my own. <putting it on the list Also, you are not crazy. You suffer from anxiety and depression, neither of which is insanity.Although sometimes it sure does seem like we are losing our minds 
<LOL Ain’t that the truth! Healing thoughts being sent your way! (((((Deirdre)))))
Thank you (((((Jackie))))) P.S. How is your mom? How are you coping with her being home?
She’s very tired. Her recovery continues, but it’s so slow, and she feels frustrated with it. I’m coping enough to do what needs to be done. I feel good when I’m helping her do something. At times like right now, when she’s asleep, I feel tired — and grateful she’s asleep. I suppose this is similar to the way a new parent feels when the kidlet finally quits crying and nursing and pooping for a couple of hours. I never had that experience. This is all new to me. I don’t mind any of it except the bathroom stuff. That’s going to take some getting used to. I’ve had a couple of nights this past week when I didn’t sleep at all because I couldn’t shut off my thoughts. Because she still needs me in the middle of the night sometimes, to help her walk to the bathroom if she’s feeling wobbly, I haven’t taken either a Klonopin or a Trazodone to help me sleep. I need to be available to her. I take a nap when she does, so I do get some sleep eventually, 3-5 hours at a time, a couple times in each 24 hours. Not the best sleep pattern, but not crippling. And here it is, midnight, and I need to get to bed. I still have some posts to answer, so I’d best get busy. HUGS Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Jim MacPherson" wrote <snips along the way Deirdre, I’ve never had someone drop me as a friend because of my mental illness, so I can’t relate to that, but anyone who thinks that we "CHOOSE" to be mentally ill is very ignorant.
I agree with you. It seems so odd coming from Mary. She has always seemed to be quite enlightened. Why would people commit suicide? Why would we purposely screw up our entire lives? No one would choose such a fate.
She seems to think we choose it because we’re too lazy to face life. I find that I’m fighting against a common view in society (or what I think is a common view): that we did it to ourselves.
I wonder why I’m only just now finding out that there are people out there who believe that! Thanks for sharing what you’re going through. I wish you all the best. Jim MacPherson
Thanks back to you for sharing your experience and viewpoint. (Nice to meet you, by the way) Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Gigglz" wrote – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Yah, baaaabeeeeee….lost many friends this way! Fuck ‘em, I say! It’s THEIR loss! Just because a person becomes ill or terminally ill, doesn’t mean they all of a sudden sprout wings and become angelic. She is a judgmental bigot, and if that’s how she feels about your anxiety disorder, let her go suck an egg! Unless you can carry on a friendship with her, all the while knowing how she REALLY feels about you (and you can accept it)…I would say good-bye to her now. This is a choice that SHE made. I’m so sorry. You are a lovely person and you don’t deserve this. SHE is the one with the real problem, Deirdre! Love, Gigglz
((((((((((((((((GIGGLZ))))))))))))))))))) I love what you wrote here! It made me sit up straight and say out loud, "Damn right!" Thank you, my friend! Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
<little snip In other words you can accept someones behavior as something you disdain and still like or care for the person. After all we are not our behaviors, we are more. You also have the choice of severing ties with her because you will not tolerate her behavior or choose not to and realize that the things you had in common were an illusion. This is ultimately your choice.
Thank you for stating these things so clearly. I have chosen to sever ties. I still care what happens to her, but that doesn’t automatically mean I have to deal with her hurtful behavior. I have lost many so called friends and one wife because of my anxiety issues-the bottom line is I am better off, and they are missing out on being involved with me.
That’s the bottom line that matters! The thing that complicates this is her terminal illness and your guilt that you may be doing the "wrong " thing by not being involved with her when she "needs" you-
Her ‘need’ of me was entirely my misperception and wishful thinking. She is fiercely independent and brushes away offers of assistance like so many gnats. but I would posit that she is not being there when you need her as well and as they say, "one hand washes the other".
The mutuality in our relationship, I see now, was limited to political views, love of language and music, and a bit of our youthful history. Not much in the real give-and-take of genuine frienships. I sought her out; she rarely reciprocated. <snip There is no blame here-just her ideologies vrs yours.
I’m always a little sad to see someone identify with an ideology that generates irrational/misinformed dislike of other people. But, to put it bluntly, it’s not my job to fix her thoughts. She’s on her own with this one now. And I’m better off. Someone once told me, "When you learn something, *at first* it can feel like you’ve lost something." Thanks, Margrove, for your thoughtful input. Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
"Deirdre Moore" wrote : – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – But she really shocked me, hurt me deeply, about 8 or 9 days ago. I’m only just now able to write about it. She suddenly realized that I really do have mental disorders — it was as if she hadn’t noticed before– and she said some terribly hurtful things. She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve. She basically told me she’ll never feel the same way about me again, that she had lost respect for me. I was stunned. I never thought anything so hateful could come out of her. I thought a long time about trying to change her mind, but I simply didn’t have the energy — I was deeply involved in Mom’s situation, and in my anxiety over so many things. I finally saw that I didn’t need anyone in my life who thinks of me that way, so I cut her out of my life. This is how I’ve always ended bad relationships — a clean quick cut is best, IMO. I took her email address out of my addressbooks. I set a rule that will highlight any email from her with yellow so I can decide whether or not I want to read it (I couldn’t quite make myself block her email entirely yet, but I may do that in the future, depending on what does or does not happen with her). I removed her from my friends list in messenger, and from my friends list in the blog community she writes in. I wrote a little bit about it in my blog so if she continues to read it as she has done in the recent past, she’ll see what I did.
That’s horrible! I think you did the right thing. You don’t need a ‘friend’ like that. So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it?
When I was about 9, I had a ‘friend’ turn on me badly. I didn’t see why at the time, but now I see that it was he thought he was second- choice after another friend. I didn’t end our relationship, which became very abusive. I had too little confidence to stand up to him. It took me two years to finally end my relationship with him. I simply refused to have anything to do with him. It was a very bad experience, which made it much more difficult for me to trust people. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing?
Yes. In the past I had abusive therapists who played into that. I still have trouble with that. It helps me to think that I am not an evil, bad, lazy, etc. person, not ‘mentally ill’, whatever that means anyway, but just someone who has an overactive nervous system. Dennis — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve.
Deirdre, I’ve never had someone drop me as a friend because of my mental illness, so I can’t relate to that, but anyone who thinks that we "CHOOSE" to be mentally ill is very ignorant. Why would people commit suicide? Why would we purposely screw up our entire lives? No one would choose such a fate. I’ve been mentally ill since age 15 and have now just turned 40. It’s been hell. I can trace back all the events that lead to the beginning and continuation of my anxiety and depression. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing?
As I mentioned above, I can trace the events that lead to my illness. That’s how I try to handle the fear that I’ve brought it all on myself. I find that I’m fighting against a common view in society (or what I think is a common view): that we did it to ourselves. Again, only the ignorant feel that way toward mentally ill people, and who cares what ignorant people think? I’m trying to learn to forget about what they think and go with what enlightened people think. Thanks for sharing what you’re going through. I wish you all the best. Jim MacPherson — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Deirdre… I’m sorry, but I don’t see why you would want to keep such a caustic, judgemental person in your life. I mean… will you *ever* be able to forget the things she said to you? Won’t you always wonder *what* she is thinking of you? I know I would… and perhaps I’m projecting. As for your last question, I don’t think I had anything to do with *choosing* this disorder. I think it’s part of who I am… and the way I am wired. The only *choice* I have is how I deal with it. I’ve seen crazy, Deirdre…. and let me reassure you, you are not it!! Take care… MikeH
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi gang, I’m wondering if any of you have ever experienced anything like this, and how you handled it. Not long ago, before Mom got sick, I wrote here about my friend in Texas who was very ill. Mary is my age (53), lives alone, and has severe complications from diabetes, including congestive heart failure and kidney failure. We had been very good friends for a couple of years in high school in Iowa; then her family moved to Texas. We lost touch for a long while, but we found each other several years ago. Over the past 6 months we’ve been in close contact via email and messenger. Before Mom got sick I was trying to figure out a way to go spend a week with her, help her out, have some nostalgic laughs, and have a chance to say goodbye — her doctors give her about a year at most. We have always had a lot in common, and I’ve always admired her enthusiasm for life, high intelligence, creativity, and generosity of spirit. But she really shocked me, hurt me deeply, about 8 or 9 days ago. I’m only just now able to write about it. She suddenly realized that I really do have mental disorders — it was as if she hadn’t noticed before– and she said some terribly hurtful things. She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve. She basically told me she’ll never feel the same way about me again, that she had lost respect for me. I was stunned. I never thought anything so hateful could come out of her. I thought a long time about trying to change her mind, but I simply didn’t have the energy — I was deeply involved in Mom’s situation, and in my anxiety over so many things. I finally saw that I didn’t need anyone in my life who thinks of me that way, so I cut her out of my life. This is how I’ve always ended bad relationships — a clean quick cut is best, IMO. I took her email address out of my addressbooks. I set a rule that will highlight any email from her with yellow so I can decide whether or not I want to read it (I couldn’t quite make myself block her email entirely yet, but I may do that in the future, depending on what does or does not happen with her). I removed her from my friends list in messenger, and from my friends list in the blog community she writes in. I wrote a little bit about it in my blog so if she continues to read it as she has done in the recent past, she’ll see what I did. So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? I am having a lot of very confused self-talk going on. Sometimes I just hate her, not something I do easily. I try to understand her point of view, but that invariably ends up in wondering, painfully, if maybe she’s right? Maybe I’m just a lazy whiner, maybe I have no ‘backbone’, maybe I’m worthless, maybe I’ve been wasting my time all these years with therapy and meds… so I go through the whole process of challenging the thoughts so I’ll feel better. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing? It’s about a quarter to 4 in the morning here right now. I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s too late to take a pill — I need to be up by 9. I’ve been worried about Mary because she lives in a town that is going to get hit hard by Hurricane Rita’s rain and wind, tornado watches, flooding. But I’m too stubborn to try to find out if she’s okay. I do still care about her, but how could I talk to her after what she said? Thanks for reading, my friends. All input will be appreciated as always. Love Deirdre
. — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi gang, I’m wondering if any of you have ever experienced anything like this, and how you handled it. Not long ago, before Mom got sick, I wrote here about my friend in Texas who was very ill. Mary is my age (53), lives alone, and has severe complications from diabetes, including congestive heart failure and kidney failure. We had been very good friends for a couple of years in high school in Iowa; then her family moved to Texas. We lost touch for a long while, but we found each other several years ago. Over the past 6 months we’ve been in close contact via email and messenger. Before Mom got sick I was trying to figure out a way to go spend a week with her, help her out, have some nostalgic laughs, and have a chance to say goodbye — her doctors give her about a year at most. We have always had a lot in common, and I’ve always admired her enthusiasm for life, high intelligence, creativity, and generosity of spirit. But she really shocked me, hurt me deeply, about 8 or 9 days ago. I’m only just now able to write about it. She suddenly realized that I really do have mental disorders — it was as if she hadn’t noticed before– and she said some terribly hurtful things. She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve. She basically told me she’ll never feel the same way about me again, that she had lost respect for me. I was stunned. I never thought anything so hateful could come out of her. I thought a long time about trying to change her mind, but I simply didn’t have the energy — I was deeply involved in Mom’s situation, and in my anxiety over so many things. I finally saw that I didn’t need anyone in my life who thinks of me that way, so I cut her out of my life. This is how I’ve always ended bad relationships — a clean quick cut is best, IMO. I took her email address out of my addressbooks. I set a rule that will highlight any email from her with yellow so I can decide whether or not I want to read it (I couldn’t quite make myself block her email entirely yet, but I may do that in the future, depending on what does or does not happen with her). I removed her from my friends list in messenger, and from my friends list in the blog community she writes in. I wrote a little bit about it in my blog so if she continues to read it as she has done in the recent past, she’ll see what I did. So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? I am having a lot of very confused self-talk going on.
you have the choice of accepting her ignorance and bigotry, narrowmindedness and lack of empathy (something she will insist you have of her and her problems, by the way) and rejecting her behavior as that of someone who manifests the beforementioned traits. In other words you can accept someones behavior as something you disdain and still like or care for the person. After all we are not our behaviors, we are more. You also have the choice of severing ties with her because you will not tolerate her behavior or choose not to and realize that the things you had in common were an illusion. This is ultimately your choice. I have lost many so called friends and one wife because of my anxiety issues-the bottom line is I am better off, and they are missing out on being involved with me. The thing that complicates this is her terminal illness and your guilt that you may be doing the "wrong " thing by not being involved with her when she "needs" you-but I would posit that she is not being there when you need her as well and as they say, "one hand washes the other". Either way, you will feel better and not generate such dissonant thinking if you clearly see, she wants something from you she plainly wil not offer and that any relationship relies on reciprocal feelings and behaviors-nice begets nice, love love and so forth. There is no blame here-just her ideologies vrs yours.. Sometimes I just hate – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -her, not something I do easily. I try to understand her point of view, but that invariably ends up in wondering, painfully, if maybe she’s right? Maybe I’m just a lazy whiner, maybe I have no ‘backbone’, maybe I’m worthless, maybe I’ve been wasting my time all these years with therapy and meds… so I go through the whole process of challenging the thoughts so I’ll feel better. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing? It’s about a quarter to 4 in the morning here right now. I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s too late to take a pill — I need to be up by 9. I’ve been worried about Mary because she lives in a town that is going to get hit hard by Hurricane Rita’s rain and wind, tornado watches, flooding. But I’m too stubborn to try to find out if she’s okay. I do still care about her, but how could I talk to her after what she said? Thanks for reading, my friends. All input will be appreciated as always. Love Deirdre Every once in a while, I update my blog. Check it out, and if it’s been more than 2 weeks since I’ve written, please scold me. Thank you. http://home.earthlink.net/~deirdre1952/
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
Hi, Deirdre, I’m sorry about your friendship with Mary. Reading the other posts you have been given good advice and some I would have said myself. Time is too valuable too allow people to judge you based on having a mental health issue… smiles, Elise
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi gang, I’m wondering if any of you have ever experienced anything like this, and how you handled it. Not long ago, before Mom got sick, I wrote here about my friend in Texas who was very ill. Mary is my age (53), lives alone, and has severe complications from diabetes, including congestive heart failure and kidney failure. We had been very good friends for a couple of years in high school in Iowa; then her family moved to Texas. We lost touch for a long while, but we found each other several years ago. Over the past 6 months we’ve been in close contact via email and messenger. Before Mom got sick I was trying to figure out a way to go spend a week with her, help her out, have some nostalgic laughs, and have a chance to say goodbye — her doctors give her about a year at most. We have always had a lot in common, and I’ve always admired her enthusiasm for life, high intelligence, creativity, and generosity of spirit. But she really shocked me, hurt me deeply, about 8 or 9 days ago. I’m only just now able to write about it. She suddenly realized that I really do have mental disorders — it was as if she hadn’t noticed before– and she said some terribly hurtful things. She was thoroughly disgusted with me. She told me that people with mental illness CHOOSE to be crazy in order not to face their lives. She said that mentally ill people are lazy whiners and are her biggest pet peeve. She basically told me she’ll never feel the same way about me again, that she had lost respect for me. I was stunned. I never thought anything so hateful could come out of her. I thought a long time about trying to change her mind, but I simply didn’t have the energy — I was deeply involved in Mom’s situation, and in my anxiety over so many things. I finally saw that I didn’t need anyone in my life who thinks of me that way, so I cut her out of my life. This is how I’ve always ended bad relationships — a clean quick cut is best, IMO. I took her email address out of my addressbooks. I set a rule that will highlight any email from her with yellow so I can decide whether or not I want to read it (I couldn’t quite make myself block her email entirely yet, but I may do that in the future, depending on what does or does not happen with her). I removed her from my friends list in messenger, and from my friends list in the blog community she writes in. I wrote a little bit about it in my blog so if she continues to read it as she has done in the recent past, she’ll see what I did. So — have you ever had a friend suddenly turn on you so shockingly that you had to sever relations? How did you handle the pain of rejection, the shock, etc? What is your opinion of how I’m trying to handle it? I am having a lot of very confused self-talk going on. Sometimes I just hate her, not something I do easily. I try to understand her point of view, but that invariably ends up in wondering, painfully, if maybe she’s right? Maybe I’m just a lazy whiner, maybe I have no ‘backbone’, maybe I’m worthless, maybe I’ve been wasting my time all these years with therapy and meds… so I go through the whole process of challenging the thoughts so I’ll feel better. This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing? It’s about a quarter to 4 in the morning here right now. I haven’t been able to sleep. It’s too late to take a pill — I need to be up by 9. I’ve been worried about Mary because she lives in a town that is going to get hit hard by Hurricane Rita’s rain and wind, tornado watches, flooding. But I’m too stubborn to try to find out if she’s okay. I do still care about her, but how could I talk to her after what she said? Thanks for reading, my friends. All input will be appreciated as always. Love Deirdre Every once in a while, I update my blog. Check it out, and if it’s been more than 2 weeks since I’ve written, please scold me. Thank you. http://home.earthlink.net/~deirdre1952/ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
<Gently snipped ::This leads me to the other part of my question for the group: do you ever ::find yourself caught in the fear that you’ve brought all this on yourself? ::That maybe, deep down, you WANT to be ‘crazy’, that you’ve talked yourself ::into it somewhere along the line? How do you get yourself out of this ::dangerous cycle of self-doubt and self-loathing? Dear Deirdre, I`m so sorry that Mary was so cruel to you. It`s mind boggling that some people actually think mental illness is a choice. Your illness is no more a choice than Mary`s diabetes, CHF and kidney failure. I wonder sometimes if peoples ignorance about mental illness is more a cover-up for fear of mental illness. Maybe for Mary it`s easier for her to believe it is a "personal" choice rather than a illness that can strike anybody… at anytime. I think you handled this the only way you could and that was to end the relationship. Who can be friends with someone when there is no longer any respect. I would have done the same thing as you. Mary has lost something precious…. and that is you! I know you feel a sense of loss too Is there any chance being Mary is terminally ill, that she is pushing you away on purpose? Sometimes people do the oddest things when they are trying to come to terms with their impending death. It seems odd that all of a sudden, she gets it that you have some mental issues. Something to think about. What would you tell another poster here about their mental illness? Would you tell them they are worthless, a lazy whiner and brought their craziness upon themselves? I know you wouldn`t! Whatever you would tell another person here, you need to tell yourself. Also, you are not crazy. You suffer from anxiety and depression, neither of which is insanity. Although sometimes it sure does seem like we are losing our minds Healing thoughts being sent your way! (((((Deirdre))))) P.S. How is your mom? How are you coping with her being home? Jackie ~*~I`m an angel! Honest The horns are just there to keep my halo up straight~*~ — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
Response:
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) skrev i meddelandet I hope that is what it is. This morning we woke up covered in drool. We are waiting very patiently to take him in to the vet this morning. Sharon Purrs that the vet can give Fuga something to make him feel better. Elisabet and Hugo Katt 